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I Blew It Again!

February 29, 2008

 

I didn’t realize that I was capable of truly losing my temper until I had kids.  I had never become so angry at anyone that I yelled until I had kids.  Yeah, I know, that say’s alot about me.  It also says a lot about where I was in my walk with Christ when I had my first babies. 

I will never forget one afternoon, I was changing my baby daughter’s diaper and I asked my oldest child to go get me a diaper.  She just stood there looking at me and not getting the diaper.  I then yelled at her, “I said, go get me a diaper! NOW!”  Her eyes welled up and the tears began to flow.  I felt horrible.  The worst part is that my daughter ,that I yelled at, was only 18 months old.  I was 20 years old with 2 babies and had totally blown it.  I learned that I needed to really work on my lack of self control.

Now I am 30 something and my oldest is 17.  She survived and has forgiven me.  I wish I could say that I learned my lesson that day and I never lost my temper again, but I did…over & over & over.

Finally after the Lord had to jerk me around a little and get my attention I began to immerse myself into his Word.  I read and studied it as if I had never read it before. 

1 Thessalonians 5:8 

… let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

Titus 2:5 says that we are to be “self controlled and pure“. 

Titus 2:11,12 tells us that the grace of God “teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age

 Obviously this self control thing is not a new problem. It began in the Garden actually. And yes,it was the woman who could not control her curiosity to just take that one bite…what would it hurt?  I can’t help but wonder if Eve ever thought back to the days int he Garden and said, “If only I wouldn’t have listened to the serpent.  If only I would have just said no! “

 I have spent wasted too much time regretting my actions.  I have learned to lay my lack of self control with my tongue at the feet of Jesus everyday.  If I don’t think before I speak I usually end up blowing it with my kids.  And because of this a I have a few kids who have learned very well from me how to lose their temper also.  Now now we have anger issues to deal with.

So what has helped me?  Starting my day at the feet of Jesus.  Praying and asking ahead of time for wisdom and self control with my words.  I have a prayer that I pray fairly often to remind me of the power my words have on my family.  I titled it Sweeter than Honey.  When I begin my day without coming to my Lord first I can almost guarantee that I will lose my temper with someone.  I just can’t do this alone. The good news is that my Jesus is always there waiting for me ready to cleanse my heart and strengthen me so that my words will build up my family not tear them down.

 

EVERYDAY, I must put on my faith, love & my hope for salvation so that I can be self controlled because I belong to Christ and his grace will carry me all the way.  It is like the manna the Israelites ate in the wilderness.  They couldn’t save any for tomorrow, they could only use it for today.  We must go to him everyday for our manna.  If we are to produce the fruit of His Spirit we can’t try to use yesterday’s manna.

Father, give me today what I need to minister to my family.  Help me to have self control and to not blow it, but to be a blessing to you and my family.  A~Men

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Matt permalink
    March 6, 2008 4:50 am

    Nice post. Thank you.

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