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Short story about my miscarriage

February 24, 2008

 

In 2005, I experienced a miscarriage.  I was upset & angry with God.  In a moment of desperate prayer I asked God why He had done this to me?  Why did he take my baby?  My answer came in a vision and this is what He showed me.

            I saw a ship.  It was no different than any other ship I had ever seen.  This ship like most others occasionally carried cargo for the Lord Captain.  He was a mighty captain in stature.  He stood tall in authority, yet very gentle in his ways.   He loved his ships & took great care and concern for them.  In his choosing, he would place very special cargo on a ship & then prepare the ship for a voyage.  He prepared the outside so to withstand any storms that may come.  He then strengthened the inside so that the cargo would have the safest travel.  This ship loved the special attention she always received. She always knew that she was in store for a special trip.

            One day the ship found herself being prepared for another special voyage.  She knew the voyage well, it would last for several months. She so enjoyed these months and the time she spent with the Lord Captain, especially the cargo that he placed in her ship.  Before she knew it she was on yet another voyage and excitement filled everyone. But for some reason she felt that this voyage would be different.  She wasn’t sure why. She had been on this voyage so many times before and she knew what to expect.  Yet, the feeling of difference was still there.

            She was so grateful to the Lord Captain that he had chosen her again for the long voyage and she told him so.  She talked with him often telling him how blessed she was to have such a loving and caring Captain.  He reminded her that he was the captain and that he would always take care of her and that she needed to trust him to guide her on this voyage.

            The days turned into weeks and the voyage seemed to be going like it always did.  Occasionally the ship would feel that pain of difference again, but thought nothing about it since it she knew that the Lord Captain was in charge.  She tried to sail very carefully since she knew that the cargo she had was very delicate.  Then one day the ship could not deny the pain of difference anymore.  She knew that this voyage was different.  The Lord Captain came to her and spoke carefully and lovingly to her.  He told her that the cargo she was carrying had reached its final destination and it was time for her to let the cargo off of her ship.  She didn’t understand.  Never before had the voyage been so short.  “What have I done wrong?  Why can’t I complete this voyage?” she asked him.  “You have completed this voyage and you did it well.  This voyage is not about you and how well you sail, it is about the cargo and me taking it to the place I have planned. You are only my vessel of which I use to transport my cargo to where I want it to be.  That is your purpose.  But this time my cargo was destined for a different destination than the rest.  My plan was different this time but my plans are always perfect.  This cargo could not have made the long voyage like the rest so I gave it a new destination. You have done everything I asked you to do; now I need you to trust me and let the cargo go.”  The ship did as her Lord Captain asked and as painful as it was she let the precious and delicate cargo go.  She wept as she watched the Lord Captain hold the cargo in his mighty strong arms and carry it off until she could see it no longer.  “Will you take care of it?” she asked, knowing how delicate the cargo is.  In the distance she heard her captain answer, “Forever, will I love and cherish it because I created it.”  The ship knew that one of these days she would see the cargo again, but only in the timing of the Lord Captain. She realized that the Lord Captain was right in that the cargo was not hers.  It was the creation of the Lord Captain and she was the vessel he used.  Her tears turned to joy as she realized how blessed that tiny cargo now was to be in the arms of the Lord Captain.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 25, 2008 2:35 pm

    Oh Dana,

    Once again you have touched my heart. I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the past. One that hurt really bad was one I had when I was almost 5 months into the pregnancy. She was a girl and I named her Cassie Mae. When I read your vision, I remembered my baby girl and how I felt when the doctor did the D&C to take her. I cried. I don’t think about it very often, but every time I do it makes me cry. The other two were earlier, but they hurt, too. But it was so kind of the Lord to give you that vision and to explain it to you that way. I picture my babies sitting on His knees being loved by the most loving Being in the Universe, and it helps ease the pain. Where did you get the picture that goes with your vision? It’s perfect!

    Love,
    Penney

  2. February 26, 2008 9:04 am

    Thanks Penney, I found the picture just searching google images. I don’t remember what I was searching for, but this one popped up & it reminded me of this story so I decided to add it to the blog.

  3. February 26, 2008 11:24 am

    Thank you. I had a miscarriage between my first two – It was so difficult to come to understand what it all meant. My kids know they have another sibling they will get to meet in heaven – they bring him/her up often.

    Beautiful vision. Blessings ~Michelle.

  4. Shelly permalink
    May 12, 2008 7:18 pm

    What a beautiful story. I am currently in the midst of miscarrying my fourth child. Only two weeks ago we found out we were expecting a very unexpected blessing and on Mother’s Day, the Lord decided differently. I am struggling greatly with the whys of it all – you’re story is a real blessing.

  5. Lisa Smith permalink
    December 16, 2008 2:04 pm

    Wow
    What a beuatiful thing! I lost a little one after he was born and am in the process of putting the finishing touches on a book about it. My Zachary, would now be twelve years old and I have yet to see the end of what God has used him for in my life. I would love to share a copy of my book with you, I can email it to you.
    God gave me a picture/vision, not sure what it was the day I was to give birth to Zachary. It gave me so much peace, as I already knew what I was facing. I closed my eyes to pray and a vision of a window frame, in the clouds, with Jesus arms reaching out of the frame for me. I could not see His face, He was just letting me know that my faith in knowing He was there, even if I could not see His face would be what would carry me in and through this and that He did!
    Thank you for sharing!
    Lisa

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