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Real Beauty

February 8, 2008

I have been teaching Jr High girls the past few weeks at our church since September.  This has been a very big eye opening experience for me.  While I have really enjoyed getting to know these sweet young girls my heart grieves for some of them at the same time.  Lately our focus in our Bible study has been on becoming a Godly woman.  For some of these girls they are hearing some of this the first time.  They aren’t thinking about how to become godly women, they are just trying to survive their teen years.

One night we discussed our self worth.  I asked them how they define what they are worth.  They had no idea.  So, we delved into how the world defines our worth.  According to society our worth is based upon what we do, what we look like and what others think of you.  I broke this down for them and gave them examples that I found in today’s magazines such as Jessica Simpson, Donald Trump, and others.  Then we talked about how God defines our worth.  I showed them in the scriptures where God talks about what is valuable to him….us!

“The LORD has declared today that you are his people,

his own special treasure.”

Deut. 26:18

“You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

1 Peter 3:4

I realized that as I was preparing this lesson for them how many women I come across who also have fallen for the worlds way of defining their own beauty & worth.  As a teenager I remember thumbing through the pages of magazines wishing I could like just like those girls.  As I got older I realized the truth of the magazines that those girls don’t walk around looking like that, it takes a lot of make-up, hair spray & very often digital touch ups.I found this link to a video that was done of what actually happens to a model as they prepare her for a photo shoot & then what they do to her after the photo shoot. It is very good, I recommend that you take a look at it.  Click here to see it.

As a mom, I have to understand where my real beauty is.  It isn’t in my face or hair or what I where.  All of that fades with age.  My real beauty is found deep in my soul.  This is where God looks, in my heart, not my face.  He doesn’t even define my worth by what I do.  I can work my socks off doing the greatest things ever, but if my heart is full of sin then my works are like filthy rags and worth nothing.

Moms, I totally believe that if we have a true and honest belief in who we are and what we are worth in the eyes of our Savior, then our daughters have a much better chance at gaining that same belief.  But, we can’t just know what we are worth in God’s eyes, we must talk about it & teach it to our daughters.

I began talking with my girls when they were very little about what God thinks about them.  It is fun to get dressed up and put make up on and look really nice, but that isn’t who we really are inside.  It only makes it easier for others to look at us if we are pleasant to look at.  How many gorgeous women have you seen and then they opened their mouth and a string of foul words came flying out.  How pretty was she then?  Her outward appearance was only masking the true self.  It doesn’t matter how much make up we use, others will still see our real beauty.  Our hearts shine brighter than our appearance.  We can only cover up so much.

We must talk with our daughters.  Ask them about what is going on in their life?  What are they passionate about?  What really upsets them?  What really excites them?  I once asked my daughters while we were driving somewhere(I love the captive audience) what do they think their friends mothers should know about them?  WOW! I got some great answers.  I would have wrote them down, but I was driving. :o)  One answer was, “Just ask them what they like to do.” Another one was, “Ask them about their friends, who are they, who are their parents?” My very straight-to-the-point daughter said, “The moms need to be in their girls life.  They need to go with them, not drop them off places.”

Then, I asked them what should moms say to their girls.  More great answers!

“Just tell them they are pretty, no matter what they are wearing or if they like what they are wearing.” (I took this as a hint)

“Sometimes they don’t need to say anything, just listen.  Don’t critizie or preach, just listen.  Usually we can figure it out by ourself just by telling you about it.  If I can’t figure outwhat to do, then I ask you.” (another BIG hint to me)

Teaching our girls what they are worth has to begin with our relationship with our girls.

In your eyes what are your daughters worth?  Do they know this?

What do they think they are worth to you?

If God sees us as invaluable, precious & a treasure, shouldn’t we see our children in the same way.  If God can look beyond all of our faults, we need to do the same for our children.  Time is short.  Reach their hearts now.

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 21, 2008 7:08 pm

    Hey Dana Girl,
    Love the message… always. Hope your doing well and your family too. I miss talking to you, I joined The Homechool Lounge they have a neat blog for HS Mom’s , Robin Sampson is on there too and she added me to her lounge sister… go to my blog and the button to take you there is on the right Please come join us girl.

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