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July ’07 Newsletter

November 17, 2007

Gracie

 

Let’s Talk About Girls ~ Raising Our Daughters to be Godly Women

This is a very full issue.  I hope you find some encouragement and affirmation.  Take your time with this one.  I have a long list of my favorite web sites & blogs.  A few are for girls.  I don’t let my girls just wander online & try to be very careful, so these sites have passed my inspection.  Also, I have given you a few of my favorite books to read with your daughters.

When we began having our children and they were all very close in age people seem to enjoy telling me things like, “Just wait until they are all teenagers.”.  Well, they are teenagers now and we are not experiencing the horrible things that we were warned would happen.  Don’t get me wrong, we have our “teenage” moments, but over all our kids are a lot of fun to be around.  Our daughters help manage & keep the home.  Our sons help to maintain the home.  They all have their responsibilities and know what is expected of them.  They all have a servant’s heart and are learning to seek the Lord for direction.

I was told when my girls were young that if I began to train them then to be godly young ladies that they would become godly wives, mothers & friends.  We are beginning to see some of the fruit of our labor.  Our girls have developed a reputation in our church as youth leaders that can be depended on to step in & do what is needed to be done.  They baby sit for many families and the parents know they can trust the girls to take care of their children & their home.  When I was training them to be independent and responsible in our home I never thought about how useful it would be to them when they were baby sitting for others.

If we are faithful in training our children according to God’s word then I know that I can expect my teenage children to begin bearing the fruit of a godly life while they are still young.  Scripture promises that we will “reap if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9).  The years that I was warned about and many parents dread can be years of joy and fruitfulness.

I hope to share with you in this newsletter some things to begin teaching your daughters while they are young.  And for those of you with older daughters, I hope to encourage you in ways to capture the heart of your daughter while she is still home.

 How can we train our girls to be godly?  We must be godly.  As mothers we need to seek and love our God with all our heart so that we can show our girls what it looks like to be godly.  Here are a few things you can do with her to help accomplish this.

~Study these scriptures together.  Discuss how they apply to you right now.

§         Proverbs 31:10-31

§         Galatians 5:22-23

§         Galatians 6:7-8

§       1 Timothy 2:9-15

~Activities

§         Talk with other godly women in your life.  What advice do they have about becoming a godly young lady?

§         Talk to other men (dad, grandfather, etc..) about what they admire or value most in the women in their life.

§         Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies.”  Learn about rubies.  What else in scripture is compared to rubies?

§         Study the lives of godly women in history. What traits did they have that set them apart from other women? 

  • § Read about some ungodly women in the Bible or history. What was the end result of their life?

Training Our Daughters to be Modest

Teaching our daughters to dress modestly should be a no-brainer.  But today, it isn’t.  I see so many moms who dress in clothes that are way too tight, way too short, and way too low in front and in back.  It seems like she buys her clothes in the same section as her daughter does.  How can we expect her daughter to dress appropriately if her mom doesn’t?   But I’m sure you are not one of these moms.  We need to understand how sensitive a man’s eye sight is.  It doesn’t take much for his mind to wonder and wish.  We need to make sure that we do not cause his mind to wonder where it shouldn’t.  Below are some scripture verses to explore and then some activities you daughter can do or you can do with her.  I remember doing this with my daughters when they began to dress to their own style.  It was good for them to see what scripture said rather than just what Mom said.  It was also good for us to discuss together how we can still dress the nice with out wearing giant baggy clothes.  It isn’t always easy, but when we keep our focus on glorifying God then it is worth the trouble.

~Look up and discuss the following scriptures.

§         Romans 12:2

§         1 Thessalonians 4:4-7

~Activities

§         Practice sitting and bending over modestly whether you are wearing shorts, pants or a skirt.

§         Discuss with your parents: What is your goal in the way you dress?  Are you dressing for the approval of man or God?  Are you seeking to attract attention to yourself or to bring Glory to God?

§         Ask your father to explain how a young man responds to form-fitting or revealing clothing, flirtations behavior, body language, etc.

§         Look through a clothing catalog or sales ad.  Which styles are immodest?  What makes them immodest or modest?

§         In a public place, note the response of men to women who are dressed or behave immodestly.

  • § Read this letter from a Christian guy about modestly. Discuss it with your mom & dad.

 Training Our Daughters in Purity

It is no secret that purity is not being taught enough to our young kids any more.  The pregnancy rate among young girls is only getting worse.  And the age of girls getting pregnant is getting younger & younger each year.  Can you imagine your 10 year old daughter pregnant?  I can’t, but there are some out there.  Satan is out to steal our children’s purity.  As mothers we must teach our daughters the importance of remaining a virgin in all physical ways until they are married.

Study these scriptures together.  Discuss them.

§         Proverbs 4:23

§         Proverbs 27:12

§         Matthew 5:8

§         Matthew 26:41

§         Romans 6:12-14

~Activities

§         Study men and women in the Bible who resisted temptation.  What were the blessings of obedience in their lives?

§         Study people in the Bible who yielded to temptation.  What were the results of their disobedience?

§         Make a list of standards for choosing godly friends.  Base you list what the scripture says about friends.  What qualities will you seek in a friend?  What will you avoid?

  • § Make a list of sins that you have commit. Now write down ways of escape for each area.

  Here are a few books that I think are really important to have if you have daughters.

This is the book in which I get a lot of great ideas for training my daughters to be godly women.  There are many excellent resources out there, but this one remains one of my favorites. Door Post has a great site full of many great resources to use in training your children according to scripture. Click on the picture to go  to their site. Many of the activities I used in the 3 articles above came from Polished Cornerstones.

The Princess and the Kiss is a precious story full of excellent illustrations that beautifully portrays the value of purity and the rewards of waiting on God’s timing. By Jennie Bishop.

Beautiful Girlhood is a book that I have read with my daughters.  It is full of timeless truths for those who desire to be godly.

 

There are so many more books out there, but not enough room to list them all.  But maybe this will help you if you need a few suggestions.

Capturing Her Heart & Keeping It

I’d like for you to meet my 2nd daughter Sarah Catherine.  She is turning 15 in a few months.  She is a fabulous young lady who is growing in the Lord.  I asked her the other day what foreign language she wanted to learn this year & her response was Hebrew!  She said it was because it would help her to study the Bible better.  How cool is that?!

So, what do I mean by “capturing their heart”?  Your heart is where your desire for relationship is.  God desires a relationship with us and we desire relationships with others.  It is so important to build a solid relationship with your daughters. 

The strongest foundation for a good relationship is trust.  When our daughters can trust that we are there for them wholeheartedly they are more likely to come to us for counsel and fellowship.  When my daughters do confide in me what do I do?  Do I go tell my friends?  Do I try to solve her problems for her?  Does she get a sermon from me about how we reap what we sow?  Or can she trust that our discussions will remain private?  Can she trust that I will listen to her and love her in spite of what she has done?  There is a very fine line between being her mom & being her best friend.  But as her mom, I want to be her most important mentor and role model as a godly woman.  She won’t come to me if she can’t trust me.  If every time she does come to me, I put her off because I am busy or I tell her all that she does wrong, she will stop coming to me and going to someone else.  She will find another “mom friend” to go to.  My daughters do have several other female adult friends in our church that they can talk to & I trust these ladies to give my daughters sound Biblical advice, but I don’t want my daughter to go to them because she can’t trust that I will be there for her.

Communication is very important in building a good relationship with anyone.  How can you get to know them if you don’t talk to them?  Go for the simple things first.  Learn her favorite color. What does she like to dream about?  What is important to her?  You may be surprised by her answers.  When I asked Sarah what foreign language she wanted to learn, I really thought she would say Spanish, but she said Hebrew.  I ask my kids things like this every now & then just to try and stay connected with them.

If you have older daughters, talk with her about your relationship with Christ. What has he taught you this week? What are you struggling with? What is you favorite scripture?  My oldest daughter, Ashley has grown a lot in her relationship with the Lord this past year.  Together we have discussed the importance of sharing our faith with others, defending our faith and knowing why we believe what we believe, arming ourselves for battle against the enemy and praying for friends who have drifted from the Lord.  We have prayed together when she was struggling and we have rejoiced together when God answered her prayers.  She is going on a foreign mission trip in July and she knew the Lord was leading her to go, but she was nervous about how she would raise the $1250 needed.  Well, 3 weeks before her trip all her money was raised.  “See” she told us, “I told you God wanted me to go!” 

Capturing the heart of our daughters can protect them from the evil they will encounter.  It will help them to become godly young ladies and strengthen them to resist temptation and remain pure for marriage.  It will hopefully prepare them for the day when they have daughters (& sons) hearts to capture themselves.

Ashley, Sarah & Morgan

 

These are my 3 oldest daughters; from the left, Sarah(15), Ashley(16) & Morgan (13)

The top picture is my youngest daughter, Gracie (3)

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