You will be strengthened

My youngest has been sick with a cough & cold for several days now.  He is now waking up in the night because of drainage that is putting him into a coughing fit.  He sometimes begins to cough to the point that he throws up.  He will wake up around 2:30 & not go back to sleep until 5:00 or 5:30 a.m. By the time I get him back to bed I lay down hoping for a few hours of sleep before he wakes up again.

Needless to say, I am tired.  I struggle with not having a short temper with my other kids.  It isn’t their fault that I am so tired.  My early morning quiet time has disappeared because Sam keeps waking up before I can get up. 

Today, I was really feeling the affects of not getting enough sleep.  I found myself in the laundry room ready to completely burst out in tears this morning.  My children were not getting their school work done without a fight.  I had so much to do today & I didn’t have the energy to do any of it.  As I loaded the washer with more clothes I cried out to God.

I can’t do this.  Sam is keeping me up at night, I can’t get up early enough to spend time in prayer or devotions, I don’t want anyone around me, I just want to sleep.  I’m not only physically exhausted, but spiritually dehydrated.  I want so badly to have some time for myself to read your word & pray, but I just can’t get it.  Your word says that you will strengthen those whose hope is in you.  You say you will uphold me with your righteous right hand.  I need to feel your strength right now.  I need you to hold me above my physical exhaustion.  You are my God & I love you.

I finished loading my laundry and began preparing lunch.  An argument broke out between 2 of my boys & I very calmly sent them to their separate corners. My sick little one came in & wanted to be held, so we rocked for a bit.  My little girl came in & insisted that I let her play with bubbles.  With a little compromise I let her blow her bubbles on our front porch with the front door open.  She & I sat outside while she blew her bubbles.  I walked back in & realized my exhausted feeling was gone.  I no longer felt as though I would explode with emotion at the next person who confronted me.  I felt an amazing peace & calm that I had not had 30 minutes earlier.

Lord God, my Holy Father, thank you for your mercy & gift of strength for today.

I don’t know if my little Sam will sleep all night tonight.  I hope he does.  But if he doesn’t, I know that my strength will come from my God & he will uphold me with his righteous right hand, because my hope & love is in Him. (UPDATE(10.21.08); Sam slept all night for the first time in weeks last night!!!)

Isaiah 40:10

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.