Supporting His MUSAR

Proverbs1:8

Listen, my child, to the instruction from your father,

 and do not forsake the teaching from your mother.

I have always liked this verse.  I have had my kids copy it many times as they were beginning to learn how to write.  But, as I was recently preparing to speak at a conference I wanted to know if there was a deeper message to this verse.  And of course there was. And it was a great one too.

I wanted to know why did they use two different words that I thought basically had the same meaning to the action of the parents.  “listen…to the instruction to your father…” and “do not forsake the teaching of your mother.”  Are they not the same???  In Hebrew they are different, but still similar.

 The Hebrew translation for “Instruction” is musar.  It gave a 3 fold meaning.  The first meaning was the physical or parental instruction: “discipline; chastisement” , then was the verbal instruction: “warning; exhortation” and lastly was the moral instruction: “training; instruction”   This is the biblical role of the father in the family.  Then I looked up the hebrew word for “teaching”.  It gave a very familar word, “torah”, and the definition said, “instruction, moral direction rather than law. Point the way.”  I thought this was really interesting.  I immediately had a picture in my mind of a mother duck guiding her little ducklings along, scooting them on with her wings.

My own personal interpretation of this scripture is that as a Christian wife & mother my role is to support his musar.  I am to support his discipline, instruction and training.  I am to guide my children along.  I am the life giver and my husband is the law maker.  They are both vital roles in the family.  When God created woman and Adam named her Eve, he said that she was the giver of life.  That made sense  because she was the one who would have the babies, but I know that it means much more than that.  As women we are the nurturing and compassionate one’s.  Dad’s can be compassionate, but they have to work at it.

I was talking to my mom one day & she was telling me how she had been sick.  She said that Dad was taking good care of her.  She also said that it wasn’t easy and he had to work at it, but he rose to the occasion just for her. We both laughed because we know our husbands mean well.   It is a more natural action for us moms to take care of our sick kids and kiss their boo boo’s.  We are often more soft spoken (but not always) or sympathetic.

It is not always for me to support my husbands musar.  There are times when I think he should discipline differently or more often or not at all based on the circumstance.  One night I teased him that our kids would behave better if he would discipline my way.  I was teasing, but at the same time I was serious.  It doesn’t take long before the Holy Spirit is tapping on my conscious reminding me that I am to support him, not compete with him, even when I don’t agree. I am also supposed to capture every thought.  Even if I don’t verbalize my disagreement, my thoughts toward him are just as bad.  When I let them build up then my attitude toward him and my actions are not very positive & he knows that something is up.  It is easier for me to watch what I say to him, but my thoughts are what get me in trouble.

I’m always working on this.  I want to provide my husband the support that he needs.  When we work together we provide our children with a stable and loving home to grow up in.

How are you doing at supporting your husbands musar?

The Glory of Your Husband

I heard a visiting preacher at our church give a very simple definition of “glory”.  He said it is, “to make look good“.  I love that!  Our purpose as God’s creation is to glorify him.  We are to make him look good.Did you know that we are also to glorify our husbands?  We are to make them look good. 1 Corinthian 11:7-9 says, “A man…is the image and glory of God; but a woman is the glory of man.  For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”

So how can we, as godly wives, be the glory of our husbands?  I have three ways.  There are many more, but these are a good starting place.

The first way is through our speech about them and in front of them.  We should sing our husbands praise to our friends, not put him down, and reveal all of his faults.  Have you ever listened to a woman complain about her husband?  It doesn’t sound good & it doesn’t look good either.  Also, when my husband and I are with friends I need to be careful of the conversation I make so not to embarrass him.  I am really bad at opening my mouth and talking then to see a look of shock and disbelief on his face.  You just can’t take it back once it is out of your mouth.

How we manage our home is the glory of our husband.  If we are disorganized, the home is chaotic and loud; this doesn’t not say much for how we think o four husband. I struggle with clutter all the time.  My mom will tell you it is a family trait.  I try not to let it get too bad, at least not so bad that it can’t be dealt with quickly if someone is coming over.  My husband is so sweet to not gripe about the house. He just quietly moves the stack of laundry over so he can sit down to watch TV.  But I know it is important to him to have a peaceful place to come home to everyday, so I try to create that for him by managing my home efficiently.  The kids have chores & responsibilities to help out and that has helped take a lot of the burden off of me.

Lastly, how we keep ourselves is the glory of our husband.  The way we dress reflects our husband more than we realize.  When we are trying to dress in a way that will impress our husbands, most often we are also impressing other men around us.  We have to be careful and responsible.  I ran into a friend a few nights ago and we stopped to chat.  However; I had a really hard time listening to her because of the low cut blouse she was wearing.  The whole time she was talking I kept thinking, “Pull up your shirt.  Get a different shirt.  Did your husband know you walked out like that?”  I didn’t feel comfortable enough to speak to her about it, but I hope one of her closer friends did.  Remember that we are also to glorify God, even in our dress.  It isn’t always easy, but it is possible to dress stylish and still modestly also.  

“But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.  I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”  (1 Corinthian 7:34,35 – NIV)

As believers our first devotion is to our Lord Jesus.  We are to first be concerned with pleasing the Lord, then with pleasing our husbands.  We are to love God with all our heart, soul and mind. (Matthew 22:37)   When we love God like we should then we will love our husband like we should.  We will conduct ourselves in a way that makes our husband look good.  We will want to submit to his leadership.  We will want to serve him out of love, not obligation.  We will respect him and he will know it.  But is it that easy?  Of course not!  It is easier for me to clean house, wash clothes and cook meals that to love my God as he commanded.  Why?  Because of my GIANT sin nature that keeps getting in the say.  It is easier for me to do things that will make me look good to others than take on a change of heart and habit that will make God look good.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t love him, it just means that I only love him with parts of me, not all of me.  Then I only love my husband with parts of me and not all of me.  But, I am so blessed to belong to a loving and merciful Savior who love me anyway and forgives me.  I am also blessed to belong to a wonderful and merciful husband who loves me, sin and all!

Scott & Dana

The Pursuit of Joy

“Consider it pure joy my brethern when you face trials of many kinds.”

James 1:2

 

For a long time I never really understood this verse.  It didn’t make sense to me that as a christian you were supposed to consider your trials as joy.  I began searching for the true meaning of joy.  I wanted the inside scoop. 

 

At the time we were in the midst of some of the most difficult circumstances we had ever faced.  I really wanted to know how to have joy in the midst of it all.  I knew it was possible.  My true desire was for God to be glorified through our struggles, I just wasn’t sure about the joy part.

 

I found that it is not a feeling. 

 

It is a state of mind. 

 

It is a place to dwell. 

 

It is God, himself.

 

By knowing God deeper and attaining a new understanding of him I began to experience true joy, even with the winds of adversity whirling around me.  My search for joy turned into a renewed search for God and truly knowing him. 

 

When you understand what real joy is then you can face anything, even the cross.

 

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY set before him endured the cross.”

Hebrew 12:2 (NIV)

 

My trials and difficulties are so minor compared to the cross that Jesus didn’t just face, but died on.  But we can be encouraged by the fact that, “The joy of the Lord is our strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

 

His joy is what strengthens us to face any trial.